I council artists and others to use the energy found in their spiritual belief to empower their sense of purpose and chosen profession with a higher energy source, that of God's help and love. May I suggest a short prayer, “Let Thy will be my will”. If you offer up what you do it becomes a prayer and He will help you with your endeavors. May I caution you not to use His Name in vain for financial gain as that is a form of blasphemy. Do not give Him a reason for wrath. He has drawn a fine line in the sands of time and He will know if you cross over it. The material rewards of life are fleeting things.
Unique experiences while painting in Lourdes France and in Assisi, Italy, had a profound affect upon formulating a gentle loving, giving and forgiving approach to life. In Assisi, while painting in the hills where St. Francis lived, I was enthralled in some way but disappointed in others. There were Nuns. There were Franciscan Brothers walking and praying. There was the sound of young voices raised in song-filled praise. It was wonderful, but there was no signs of animal or bird life. I was used to seeing pictures of St. Francis surrounded with animals and birds. I kept painting and looking for some form of wildlife or feathered friends. I stopped painting and started shifting the pebbles at my feet looking for an ant. At that moment three white doves flew into the branches of a tree that was in my painting so I painted two of them in, as one was in a higher branch that was not in my painting. I called the painting "Doubting Thomas." After that experience it seemed as if there were always two doves about. I thought the other one must be the Holy Ghost.
I started a song that afternoon, "Three White Doves" which I finished in 2001, as a prayer offering for two people I was sharing Lourdes water with, Diane and young Catherine. I find it pleasurable and uplifting to use music as an act of prayer. The feeling is not one of the a musical virtuoso creating great Religious Musical composition but more that of a 65 year old child exploring music and song as a form of simple prayer and worship, Hoping that God would find my unschooled efforts pleasurable. I love harmonies and have explored contemporary chanting as meditation. I will sometime lay vocal track over track until the words disappear and become inaudible and become more like the sound of the singing wind. There is something lost in comprehension of the words but there is something else gained in the rising spirit of the endeavor. My greatest pleasure in singing my spirituals is found singing them in seclusion, It could be in my studio. It could be out doors while painting. It could be in the confines of my car while driving down the highway. I recall one late afternoon skimming over the Bahamas Banks in a Boston Whaler with the throttle wide open Singing above the roar of a 90 hose power Evinrude “ Holy God we praise Thy Name.” One of my more special memories was the day I found myself alone in a deserted Mission, Mission San Antoine. I sang the Hail Mary. It was like being in the presence of God in a special way, one on one. We know God is everywhere but how often do we really feel His Presence. You can if you try. When you are alone and connect with the Lord it is far more reaching emotional experience than found among the masses. If you sing like me, It is better to sing alone to God than to disrupt the choirs of humanity where voices are raised in beautiful praises that other might be spiritually inspired by the vocal gifts that God has given them.
While painting at Lourdes, France, I met a religious order of two, Francis, Heart of Mary, and Sister Claire. They approached me and started a conversation dealing with the thoughts I was pondering that day. It was almost like they read my mind. I took them out to dinner, sharing the evening with them discussing the positive intercession of Mother Mary in behalf of people in need. They asked me to buy a rosary and say it often. I said I would if Sister Claire bathed in the water at Lourdes as she appeared to be in a weakened state and had to rest when we went up the path leading out of the shrine area. I recalled that evening how my mom told me when I was baptized that my dad took me in his arms and placed me on the alter near the baptismal font which just happened to be an altar dedicated to the Blessed Virgin. I took it to be something out of his Jewish past. But I always have this deep sense of caring respect for mothers in general and love for my mother and Christ's Mother in particular. I share my feelings on this subject openly. There are some Christians who pay little heed to Christ's words to John on Calvary, "Son behold thy Mother." When one looks back to Christ's first miracle it was done at Mary's request at the wedding feast of Canna. My basic feeling is that Christ wants his mother treated with the same respect and love that we extend to our own mothers. I have returned to Lourdes to bring more of Mary's water back for people who are ill. I believe that the positive energy of prayer and a persons faith can help heal them. Through my music and letters I try to help them. There are some people I am drawn to help through personal contact. I do not pretend to be a healer with unique gifts. I am just a messenger with the message, God Loves You, Love Him in return. He will help you in a way that is predestined and ordained. God’s love does not always bring miracles but His love does bring inner peace.
One spring while painting at Stewart's Cove, Carmel Point with a visiting friend we observed what appeared to be a cross on the canvas, I walked around the other side of the easel to see if it was caused by a shadow or something. I thought perhaps the canvas was repelling the paint for some technical reason. Perhaps something was on the surface of the canvas. I applied the paint heavily and with vigor, the cross was still there. We were having a religious conversation at the time that this happened. We accepted it with out too much thought continuing our conversation and painting. I have always felt the presence of God in nature and in light in particular.
When completing this painting there was a problem of light in the foreground sand. I was compelled to amplify the suggestion of a cross in the wet sand, upon reflecting upon what I regarded as a possible mystical experience earlier, when there was a vague image of a cross in the sky. Working on the solution became a lesson in life to share. If you bring the cross of Christ, a symbol of love and sacrifice to the foreground of your problems in life you will have help from a higher source.
My Heaven's Gate theme, both in poetry and paintings reflects a growing open minded spiritual awareness. My approach to Heaven's Gate is to try to help others find inner strength and encourage them to reach out to one another with helping hands and hearts. I was working on a large Heaven's Gate painting when Kobe, Japan, had that terrible earthquake. I told my wife that when I finish that painting I am going to give half of its cost to Japan Earthquake Relief. She said we could not afford to, I answered we don’t have the money anyway it is just a painting. The work was being purchased on time for $8000. The funds have gone to a church in Japan destroyed in the earthquake. The young couple from Greece who were buying the painting on time shared in the decision that a church should receive the funds. They were very good about their payments, and I received $4600 dollars. During the Balkan War I put my Message to Humanity back on my home page. As a result the couple from Greece sent me a photo of a mosaic of Christ that the Moslem government in Turkey plastered over and stopped paying me. I took $2600 out of my retirement account to send to the church in Japan to fulfill my obligation. Someday Maria and Manny will fulfill theirs.
After the Attack on America I put up my message again for the third time as a plea for peace and understanding. My paintings and songs are inspired by the rhythm of God's heartbeat, reflecting the joy and pain I find in the world. On September 11th, I felt the pain of America that we all felt. I had a terrible premonition that more pain would follow, not just in America but would ricochet throughout the world. If only love and peace could fly as fast and as far as hate and war.
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